I never want to see another naked old woman again.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
