Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
