i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
