She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
