Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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