these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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