Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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