Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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