Umm I'm too high to move.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
