Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
