Only a mothe r could love this liver
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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