this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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