Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
