If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My balls are so social today.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
