Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
ttyl tear gas
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
