she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize