He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
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He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize