don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
hell yes lets make some ravioli
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
