I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
