are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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