Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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