how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
