I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
