Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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