I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
