honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
