She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
