it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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