Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
vagina is talking i cant
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
