last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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