i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
