You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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