im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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