Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
