Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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