k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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