he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
