reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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