i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
