is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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