So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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