Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
