Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
