So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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