What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
