Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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