What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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