You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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