If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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