ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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