I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
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I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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