Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize