I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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