Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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