And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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