and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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