it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
