non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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