I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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