Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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