dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
