you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
